RejectReality

Have you ever had one of those days that would not start right, no matter what you did?

Today was one of those days.

Those that know me realise that mornings are not my favourite time of the day. For those that have not had the pleasure of having contact with me early in the day, let’s just say the ol’ brain just doesn’t kick over until around two coffees past ten.

To make it worse, this effect is amplified on mornings when I sleep through my alarm.

Such as today.

For those keeping score, my alarm goes off at 7; I woke up at quarter to 8 and I leave for work around 8-8:15. Please read this remembering that my brain does not kick in until two coffees past ten on a good day. This is important

After rushing around like a headless chook, I managed to get myself ready for the commute (including a shave and ironing a shirt) in relative record time (half an hour for all that and gaining some consciousness is impressive for me) whilst subjecting myself to the least possible amount of hazards. I figured rushing around straight after a shower while handling sharp or hot electrical things while half asleep would be enough to spice up my morning. How wrong I was.

After grabbing my bag and heading to my car, I realised I forgot to get some breakfast to take to work (really bad short term memory is also a symptom of having a distinct lack of coffee). I went back inside, put my keys on the kitchen bench and proceeded to acquire some cereal to take to work. Bundling up my bag (again) and my newly filled cereal container, I left the house (again) to get to my car.

Have you ever had that sickening feeling where you know you just closed a door and you realise that the keys are on the other side? I have, although it did take a while to get through the morning lack-of-caffeine induced fog.

Once the full impact of the situation was realised (namely, I was stuck in a garage with locked doors, no keys, a shift that started at 9am, a container of cereal with no milk, no coffee and no options), it was time for action.

A quick call to V confirmed that there were no keys in the near proximity, so an alternate solution of popping open the lock with a tool was approved. Simple enough, one would think. Again, how wrong I was.

A screwdriver, hammer, file, a pair of bull nose and slip joint pliers and 45 minutes later and the Door Flower was born (remember what I said about subjecting myself to the least possible amount of hazards while being half asleep?).

Incidentally, I now have some extra respect for door handles. It did not give up without a fight

45 minutes late for work, a latte and all is right with the world. Well, it was until one of the guys at work asked, “so, why didn’t you catch a bus?”

<sigh>